A few nights ago I had back-to-back nightmares.
The kind of nightmares that feel like real life.
That make you get up and check your doors and windows.
The kind that make you feel like you just got back from war, when you finally wake up.
I’ve had these nightmares on and off for the past few years, beginning after a few traumatic incidents.
Today, as I was thinking through what might be causing them, I wondered if I needed to journal out my fears more often.
Wait, what? Focus on your fears?
In high school I read The Secret and developed a fear of negative thinking.
If my thoughts became my reality, I had to watch and manage every single one, right?
And I definitely shouldn’t be thinking negatively, right?
Then in my 20s I came across Lacy Phillips’ manifestation work.
Lacy says it’s our deep-held beliefs that create our reality, not our thoughts.
That made sense to me, and was a huge relief.
A few years ago when I started Amanda Frances’ Money Mentality Makeover course, one of the first assignments was to journal out all your fears – and I mean ALL of them.
Even though I was already well-versed in full-emotional-spectrum living, I balked a bit.
Sure, beliefs matter way more than thoughts, but we still want to be aiming for mostly positive thoughts, no?
And we don’t want to focus explicitly on our fears, do we?
Although the concept of beliefs over thoughts made sense to me, and made me way less fearful of negative thinking, I didn’t forget the huge self-led awakening I had in my early 20s:
I realized how much control I have over my body and mind, and how much better I feel when I actively practice switching to positive thoughts most of the time.
I remember the moment I was waiting to take my seat on an airplane, and I realized I could simply relax my physical body, drop my shoulders, soften my face, and let my negative thoughts flow out of my brain, down into the earth.
It was monumental.
I was never the same again.
Of course, I leave space for all emotions.
Space to feel.
Space to cry.
Space to move, journal, connect.
But there’s a difference between allowing yourself to feel and allowing yourself to run toxic negative loops and limiting beliefs on repeat.
Journaling out my fears felt like it might land in the latter camp.
Releasing and reprogramming negative thoughts in the moment had been helping me so much.
I felt a noticeable, visceral feeling of relief as I practiced this.
But I felt and still feel, years later, a deep trust in Amanda.
I’ve done several of her courses, and I can feel her heart running through everything she does, from free offers to 6-figure private coaching.
Plus, she has one of the most incredible lives I’ve ever seen – her life is truly the proof you need to know her work is effective.
So as she instructed, I opened my journal and started writing out my fears.
All of them.
The things looming overhead.
The ones hiding out in the back of my mind.
My small fears.
My big fears.
My deep fears – some of them dating back to childhood.
As I put down my pen, the relief I felt was immense.
Massively cathartic.
Journaling out my fears created an immediate, significant feeling of release.
It left space within me.
Space to feel more joy.
Space to genuinely feel more positive, and to effortlessly think more positively more of the time, without having to micromanage or fear my thoughts.
It reduced negative loops that were running.
How? Why?
Journaling out your fears gives them space to live outside your body – where they belong.
Because fear is not real.
If not felt and released, over time fear can eat away at you.
It can erode your health.
Your relationships.
Your finances.
Looking at your fears eye to eye, on the page, has a surprising diffusing effect.
They seem smaller outside your head.
Just words.
As I reflect on why I’ve been having these nightmares, I realize that the fear of my fears has crept back in.
It might be time to journal out all my fears, again.
If you’re feeling similarly, here are some journaling prompts for working with your fears:
What are you afraid of?
What else are you afraid of?
What do you secretly fear might happen?
What’s been looming over you?
What fears have been hiding out in the back of your mind?
What’s the worst case scenario right now?
What are you secretly dreading?
What gives you anxiety?
What else are you afraid of?
Imagining the worst case scenario and accepting it is a practice I learned from Tim Ferriss, and it’s been immensely helpful.
The truth is that the worst case scenario could happen.
Picturing that and realizing that I would still be ok has massively helped my anxiety.
It sounds counterintuitive, but it’s worked for me and so many others.
Now I would love to hear from you…
Are you afraid of your fears?
Did you pick up the idea that negative thoughts are bad?
That they’ll become your reality if you give them space to breathe and be acknowledged?
How have you found a balance between acknowledging and releasing fears, rather than getting caught up in them?
Leave a comment below.
With love,
Lula