Growing up on the East Coast, success meant identifying the best plan and then sticking to it.

Even if my intuition was whispering (or screaming) that something was wrong.

  • Finding the best way of eating and then sticking to it. 
  • Getting into a great college and staying there.
  • Landing the best internship and being a star.
  • Securing a stable job and staying there. 

Ironically, I successfully did all these things, but in the process I squashed my self-trust. 

I silenced my intuition.

I began questioning everything – which was ultimately the best thing – even though it made me feel crazy at times.

The human body is mutable.

The human experience is mutable.

Nature is mutable.

EVERYTHING around us is mutable.

So why do we humans (try to) grip on to one way for dear life?

Today, I know my greatest marker of success is my willingness to change.

My willingness to ask hard questions.

The fact that I’ve made big changes over the past few years – whether it’s changing how I eat or moving to a new country.

The fact that my mind is open.

That I’m willing to question anything, but not constantly questioning everything (exhausting escapism).

That I’m allowing myself to rest.

To not just witness but fully experience the current pleasure and beauty in my life, on a cellular level.

This was SUCH a process.

For the last (almost) 7 years, I’ve lived in one of the most beautiful places on earth. 

Lush jungles.

Pristine beaches.

Technicolor birds flying overhead.

Dolphins jumping through the water.

Smiling faces saying “pura vida” – “pure life.”

Of course, I felt an immediate shift when I moved here.

I was in awe, brought to tears frequently when I looked at the ocean, and consistently feeling a deep sense of gratitude.

But after living in New York for 28 years, it’s been a PROCESS to fully experience all the beauty around me. 

To FULLY soak up a much slower pace – and to stop mimicking the fast pace of New York within my body.

Regardless of our surroundings, our nervous systems can and will recreate what feels most comfortable and common.

Over the past years, I’ve been guided to make significant changes in my life, and with food:

  • Prioritizing sleep more than ever.
  • Spending a lot of time alone, in self-guided, body-based practice.
  • Letting my feminine lead (terrifying at times).
  • Skipping caffeine and alcohol almost always (like, maybe a drink or two every few months). 
  • Leaving my phone at home and spending hours biking through the jungle and swimming in the ocean. 

In making these shifts, my nervous system capacity has expanded more than ever.

I can FEEL beauty and pleasure on a much deeper level.

I thought I was living in technicolor before (and I was, relatively), but now it’s 10x.

For a time, I thought that maybe I was maxed out on how much I could FEEL. 

Perhaps a little depressed, subconsciously – even though I was experiencing a lot of joy and bliss, too.

Or perhaps this is just how everyone experiences beauty, and I was overthinking it, my brain said.

But my intuition knew there was more.

Now I know for sure that my capacity for pleasure and beauty is much bigger than I could’ve realized – because I’m willing to keep asking questions.

To keep pulling back the layers.

To keep practicing intuitive eating and living, because there is always more.

More to feel.

More to heal.

More to become.

Nuances and sensitivity that can only emerge when we go deep.

Not in a must-always-be-improving way, but in the most natural way.

Evolution is natural.

Change is natural…

… and there are so many more changes I’ve made recently, on the physical plane.

I’ve shared glimpses on social media, and I’ll continue to share more, as they integrate.

Right now, I’m living the questions.

A place I used to fear so much.

Up until my mid-20s, I always just wanted to be settled. 

To know what the plan was and then stick to it.

Today I know that wasn’t coming from me.

That was coming from societal conditioning designed to set us up to be mechanical workers.

Corporate soldiers.

Ambassadors of capitalism.

Today I know that a track record of change – of asking questions and taking action – is perhaps the greatest marker of success. 

How much have you changed in the past few years?

What have your biggest pivots been?

What’s your relationship with living the questions?

I’d love to hear.

Much love,
Lula