My biggest revelations and transformations always come in moments of total surrender.
Whether I’ve just finished a long run and am feeling completely exhausted and sweaty, or I’m curled up in bed after a long day of work, pivotal ideas always come when I’m not fighting myself mentally.
Complete relaxation yields physical and mental progress.
So often, you need to break down preconceived structures, lose the social forms, and surrender to your intuition. This concept is key when it comes to body image, and reaching your ideal weight.
In order to feel freedom from food and pressure around body image, you have to stop identifying with your physical form. By this, I mean stop connecting every component of your life to your body – work, relationships and exercise, to name a few.
You have to stop defining yourself by your physicality to reach a place of systemic ease and comfort. It has to become just that – your physicality – and nothing else.
When we start basing our self-worth on how we look, whether we think we’re not good enough because we’re too big, or better than everyone else because we’re super fit, we can’t win.
No bueno.
When you no longer connect everything to your body, you can stop agonizing over what to wear, do, and say, and answers come through you naturally.
This week, I want you to start noticing how you identify with your body. Carry a small notebook with you, or use your smart phone, and jot down interactions and emotions that you’re connecting to your body image:
- Do you only feel intelligent and successful at work when you’re in shape?
- Are your daily interactions affected by the way you feel in your body? Are you short with your barista, or do you snap at the cashier if you’re feeling bad about yourself?
- Do you find yourself comparing your body to others’, thinking you’re better or worse? What are your thoughts when you see someone big, or someone thin, on the street? Do you judge people based on their physical form?
When you notice these identifications, you might realize they’re not benefiting you, and probably sending you into a spiral of either self-doubt, or inflated ego. Neither situation will serve you.
Once you take note of these connections, you may decide to replace these thoughts with something positive and loving, acknowledging that physical form is simply a structure, and it doesn’t hold authentic meaning. I know it might sound crazy or weird, but this stuff works – I’ve tested it on myself, and with countless clients.
Strong body identification also leads to overeating in some cases, and undereating in others. When we link food to emotions, it no longer becomes a simple form of fuel that we can enjoy moderately + appropriately.
When your body rules everything, a rough day at the office can lead you to eat a whole pizza and an entire bag of chocolates when you get home. At the other end of the spectrum, super stressful situations might cause you to deny yourself the food you need, leading to malnourishment. When you’re so identified with your body, you take your emotions out on it – totally unfair. Does that make sense?
Your second assignment this week is to close your eyes for one minute before each meal and snack, and give gratitude for the food that’s in front of you. Eat slowly, savoring the flavors and appreciating the nutrients your body is receiving. Tuning into yourself as you eat will help you acknowledge that your body is simply a vessel, and food is what fuels it. Neither define you.
By identifying how you relate to your body, you’ll slowly learn how to fuel it properly. I have the privilege of working with so many women and men to break down body identification and live from a place of authenticity and compassion. Reaching your ideal weight is a fun perk.
Are you in on this weeks assignments?
What’s one way you identify with your body that might not be serving you? How would it transform your health and life to reverse this pattern? Please share in the comments section below – I can’t wait to hear from you!
Lula, thanks for sharing this – I’m grateful to read here the “other” side of body image being addressed. Many articles, advise, and attitudes on the topic of body image ignore that women (and men) who appear and are thin, and even fit also may be motivated by poor body image fears. For me, growing up I heard my mother put a lot of focus on her body, never happy, always on a “diet” and never ever being satisfied. She never was “thin” and to be honest, as an adult I know that her frame, her body type so to say was just not going to look like Jane Fonda. She was Melissa. She had Melissa’s body, not Jane Fonda’s, or her sister’s or her co-worker, or mine.
Still, it took my own growing and struggle on the “other” side of weight issues to be finally contempt. The signal I received while developing was that skinny was most desirable – At age 12 I was hospitalized and in patient treatment for nearly starving myself. I was eating iceberg lettuce and saltine crackers. No one in the house wanted to address it. It took an emergency room visit because my liver was failing for the, “my”, problem to be exposed.
Longer story shortened – I’ve been living with body image issues on a day-to day basis since treatment – I am nearly 40 years old now. I am considered very fit, running, doing yoga, gardening, hiking, etc…I am mindful of what I eat, but no longer in an obsessive, restricted way. I was years of exploring taste and adopting more fresh vegetables and fruits than processed, boxed, and sugared foods to grasp the full understanding of fuel for my body – this body does not sum me up, but it is vehicle, my means to express and exert my being – that, that does sum me up!
At times I have felt ignored and certainly judged for being fit. I naturally have a small a frame, and at petite 5’2, around 110 lb is an ideal weight for me – I don’t focus on a scale anymore, but I can tell now when my body feels most alive!
I’ve heard underhanded remarks, and snide whispers for being the “skinny girl” or that it, weight, isn’t something that “I HAVE to worry about”… and ya know, that is and isn’t true. I have worried about it, and when I stopped I found consistency and contempt.
Peace.
Hey Victoria,
I resonate with your story so much. I WAS that girl. Please email me at lulabrownholistics@gmail.com so we can talk more on this subject. Thank you for speaking your truth.
Warmly,
Lula
Victoria, What a beautiful expression of appreciation for this revolutionary thinking Lula is putting forth.
Peace…..