Let it suck.
That thing you really want to change, but have been minimizing, modifying, or justifying…
… let it suck.
We’re so quick to whitewash everything with positivity.
Especially self-aware, spiritual people who are always seeking growth.
We’re either taught or mistakenly pick up that all our thoughts and experiences need to be colored positive.
Even when, intellectually, we know our lives are meant to be a kaleidoscope of experiences and feelings.
Even when we know we need to feel all our emotions to stay healthy and happy.
I catch myself doing this sometimes:
Splashing faux contentment on something that really sucks – something I really want to change.
When we skip over our “negative” experiences and feelings, we get emotionally constipated.
Backed up.
Minimizing, modifying, or justifying things we want to change is one of the biggest invisible modern blunders.
Whitewashing everything with positivity drains your energy, and can block success and happiness.
So let’s stop mincing words.
Jumping to the positive too quickly.
Skipping over the trigger and stuffing it down.
Missing out on the moment to feel, release, and pivot.
Letting something suck means fully feeling all the emotions surrounding it, so you can let them go.
So admit that it sucks.
Even if it’s something you think really *shouldn’t* suck – maybe it’s even something others are longing for – but for you, right now, it sucks and you want to change it.
Let yourself feel that.
Your feelings aren’t the boogieman.
Your feelings are gold – invaluable information you can use to move forward.
Feeling all your feelings is more challenging than it sounds.
It takes practice.
Nervous system expansion.
Holding yourself.
Allowing yourself to be held by others – perhaps the hardest for me personally, but I’m becoming a pro.
Something sucking now doesn’t mean it’ll suck forever.
Allowing yourself to feel negative feelings doesn’t mean you’ll get stuck in them forever.
Your feelings are not quicksand.
As important as it is to feel them, you’re stronger than your feelings, and there’s steps you can take to expand your emotional capacity.
Next time something sucks, let it suck.
Even if it wouldn’t suck for everyone but it sucks for you, let it suck.
Don’t compare your opinion of what sucks to what sucks for others or what *should* and shouldn’t suck.
Just let yourself feel it.
Catch yourself trying to modify your feelings about it.
Catch yourself mincing words to try to minimize it.
And just say what you really feel… even if your spiritual teacher would make you immediately rephrase it in the positive.
Let yourself feel the suck for at least 15 minutes, or until it’s fully processed.
That doesn’t sound like a lot of time, but when you’re truly and purely feeling, it is.
It’s also more than ok if it takes a day, a week, or longer.
Let yourself be in the muck.
Breathe deep.
Do what you need to do to process the suck.
Listen to your inner guidance.
When it’s fully processed, let it go.
Step out of the story.
Take a shower.
Call a friend.
Go for a walk.
Change your state.
Do anything that feels like release and renewal…
… and let it stop sucking.
Much love,
Lula