We’ve been absolutely indoctrinated with the idea that we’re wild animals who would tear through the pantry if given the chance.
We are not.
This is why people sometimes laugh at the idea of intuitive eating, or simply listening to your body when it comes to food.
They claim to only crave pizza and chips…
… but that could only be true if someone’s been restricting those things, or restricting other things.
All roads can lead to pizza and chips, if that’s the chosen coping mechanism and there’s a lack of nourishment in some area of your life – whether it’s food, work, partnership, spirituality, or something else.
We are mammals with a healthy drive to support our bodies.
That drive can get distorted as we move through the world and pick up different messages from the media, friends, and family:
Finish your plate!
Carbs are bad.
Don’t eat too much sugar.
It’s lunchtime, so you have to eat.
Just have fruit if you’re hungry!
Chug water before having a snack.
Focus on protein and veggies.
Eat black bean brownies instead of regular!
If you were beaten over the head with these messages – like so many of us were – you were pulled away from your intuition.
Your internal knowing.
The brilliance of your body, which is unlike anyone else’s body.
One thing science has proven is bio-diversity: We each have unique nutritional needs.
In most other areas of nutrition, scientists are chasing their tails while marketers try to maintain their storyline, amidst a SEA of diametrically opposed studies.
There’s studies proving veganism, keto, carnivore, omnivore, and almost every other dietary approach.
Why are there so many opposing theories?
- All bodies are different. Each study is done on a different group of people.
- Between changing science and marketing positioning, you can cherry pick information to “prove” almost anything.
What always works, for everyone?
- Having a general understanding of nutrition.
- Testing different approaches and observing how the body responds.
In more complex cases, testing is very helpful too, but when it comes to self-nourishment, nothing beats human intuition.
When you return to your intuition after years of going down different rabbit holes, outsourcing your internal knowing to the next dietary theory or influencer…
… you realize that your body always knew.
When you’re in a place of self-trust and self-love, you’re not out of control.
It’s common but not normal to want to tear through your pantry.
As someone who used to want to tear through her pantry almost daily and now hasn’t binged in over 10 years, I can confidently say that overeating is triggered by restriction and/or a lack of nourishment.
Nourishment can come from food, sleep, movement, intimacy, meaningful work, time spent in nature, travel, and so much more.
What are you deficient in today, if anything?
You are brilliant in your ability to nourish your body.
Getting back to balance and self-trust REQUIRES a period of free rein with food, especially if you’ve been restricting, even if only insidiously or mentally.
What does it mean to restrict “insidiously” or “mentally”?
- Insidious restriction = You’re telling yourself you’re not restricting but you actually are.
You’re minimizing your restrictive behaviors as no big deal or “just what works for you.”
Underneath there’s a deep fear of “getting fat,” “going off the rails,” “getting lazy,” or something similar.
Here’s one example of how this could play out:
Only eating fruit when you really want an occasional brownie… then finally binging on brownies until you can’t even taste them, instead of just eating one and truly enjoying it…
… then beating yourself up and going back to only fruit… then repeating that cycle. - Mental restriction = Telling yourself you can’t have what you want, whether it’s food or a different type of relationship.
Whether you ultimately indulge in the food or switch up the relationship is irrelevant, because you’re living in a state of tightness and rigidity, trying to resist what you want. This is absolutely exhausting, and the mental loops can burn you out.
Giving yourself free rein with food can be really scary, I know.
I remember the moment I realized I had to do this:
I was turning off 1st Avenue onto 9th Street, where I lived for seven years, from the time I was 18-25.
After years of struggling with cycles of restriction and overeating, I had a deep internal knowing that I had to eat whatever I wanted, and allow my body to recalibrate.
It felt dire, because I was also bulimic, and I could feel that the acidity in my body could turn into something serious.
I had to commit to myself over any diet, and promise to never go on a diet again.
When the body recalibrates, you become someone who can “just eat” – European-style, if you will.
When you take this approach, you can hear your body, and you can hear your food intuition.
Your natural hunger and fullness signals come back online, because you’ve turned off all the noise and returned to yourself.
No food is off limits, and you naturally learn which foods truly fuel your body.
You learn what works for you, and what simply doesn’t work – what zaps your energy, triggers digestive issues, or just makes you feel heavy and uncomfortable.
It’s all valid.
This is not about eating cheese and pasta all the time.
It’s about deeply honoring your body in every way, including skipping foods that aren’t serving you.
This is how you reach a place where there’s genuinely no restriction going on, just complete self-reverence and devotion.
When you get quiet and listen to your body, you come into healthy relationship with food.
When you give yourself space to eat at a slower pace and feel how your food is affecting you, you come to crave a balance that truly serves you and evolves you – the exact fuel you need to thrive.
This is true intuitive eating, and it absolutely changes your operating system.
When I was restricting, and when I was in the process of stopping, I would constantly think about food, crave food, feel hungry, and try to resist food.
I would often wind up overeating and binging.
Now that I eat intuitively rather than restricting, food is no longer something I think about so much.
My cravings are much less intense and more balanced.
I never feel overly hungry or deprived.
I never overeat or binge.
I never crave sugar “like crazy” – quotes because sugar cravings are never crazy, since every cell in the body requires sugar to function – but they can feel crazy when you’re restricting sugar.
Today, I just feel settled and satisfied when it comes to food.
You couldn’t pay me to eat when I’m not hungry, or eat something my body is a clear no to.
Please know this:
You’re not “out of control” with food, and if it feels that way, you’ve probably just been depleted for too long.
That depletion can come from food restriction, anxiety, a lack of human connection and touch, too much time in front of screens, unsupportive relationships, and many more sources.
Deep health requires a holistic approach.
When you begin to bring in more nourishment, and commit to letting go of restriction, eating feels easy again.
Have you ever felt like you were out of control with food?
Where did you first learn that?
I’m so curious to hear from you.
Much love,
Lula