When I was restricting my food I would avoid cravings for hours, days, and sometimes weeks.

I would tighten, physically and emotionally.

Try to resist.

Distract myself.

Look at pictures of painfully thin women on the internet.

Find substitutions, like frozen berries instead of ice cream.

Until finally, I would collapse and have the chocolate cake – but three slices instead of the single slice I originally wanted.

And eaten in desperation, then shame.

Side note: It’s no big deal to eat a bunch of cake if that’s what you really want, but I was making myself sick, over and over… and so many of my clients have experienced the same.

It was a toxic cycle.

I was abusing and confusing my body instead of giving her what she wanted in the first place, without shaming her:

A simple slice of chocolate cake.

I’ve grown to hate those little craving swap charts you see in magazines, or someone recommending you chew gum, eat grapes, or chug water when you really want a brownie.

Suppressing your cravings and giving your body some bullsh*t sub you don’t even want almost always leads to a binge.

People think there’s something wrong with THEM when food substitutions “don’t work.”

Like they just need more willpower.

Willpower is exhaustible.

You can’t fight yourself forever.

The cycle of restricting and then overeating will continue if you keep trying to resist your cravings like the plague.

 

 

Why don’t craving substitutions work?

Our bodies are highly intelligent and innately trustworthy.

They know what they need, and they know how to heal.

Cravings are either emotional, physical, environmental (“I see it, I want it”) or a combination of all three.

When we eat replacement foods instead of the real thing, we feel deprived and wind up numbing out through overeating.

Instead of addressing the underlying emotional and/or physical needs, we use food as a decoy so we don’t have to address sticky feelings.

And this perpetuates the restrict-binge cycle, because our core needs keep getting pushed away instead of processed.

 


These are a few common nutritional and emotional craving connections…

  • Lack of intimacy and pleasure can make you crave ice cream to feel soothed.
  • Salty cravings can be a sign your adrenal and kidney function are low.
  • Chocolate cravings can be triggered by a lack of magnesium.
  • Crunchy cravings like chips can stem from stress and anxiety.

… and there are so many more examples like this.

 

 

Helpful recommendations in these cases could be…

  • More intimacy, pleasure, and deep self-care.
  • Less caffeine and alcohol, to naturally balance the adrenals.
  • Mineral water, more beans, and/or magnesium supplements.
  • Exercise and emotional release techniques, to release stress.

 

 

When our cravings are forbidden, we become obsessed with them.

We make them into a huge emotional event we’re trying to avoid, instead of enjoying our food leisurely and pleasurably.

When we finally overeat the food we wanted in the first place, we feel shame, and like we can’t trust ourselves.

Confidence and self-trust break down.

And they apply to work and relationships, too.

If we don’t trust our instincts around food, it’s hard to trust our instincts and feel confident at work and in relationships.

We need food to survive, so when our relationship with it is shaky, we doubt our overall potential to succeed and be happy – even if only subconsciously.

The monkey mind asks…

If you can’t do this basic thing of feeding yourself, how can you be an amazing boss, employee, friend, or partner?

 

 

What’s the solution to navigating cravings?

Start trusting your body and listening to your instincts around food.

Dropping self-judgment.

And taking pleasure in your food.

When you have a craving, sit with it for a few minutes.

Take a few deep breaths.

Ask yourself what you really want at your core.

What would serve you and give you pleasure in this moment, in a few hours, and later in the day?

Feel into the difference between impulse and intuition – they are not the same thing.

In fact, they are opposites.

Impulse pops into the mind, perhaps the chest, saying “I need it now.”

Intuition lies deep in the gut, quietly guiding you with complete certainty.

 

 

After you pause, honor your food craving and approach eating it like this, rather than quickly…

1. Identify the specific food you want.

The thing that will deeply satisfy you.

Get the best quality of it, and eat it as soon as possible – stop avoiding it.

Don’t try to satisfy the craving with a substitution.

It will lead to a binge, again and again.

2. Sit down and be present with your food.

Take a few breaths.

Smell your food.

Make your environment as relaxed and beautiful as possible.

Put your phone, iPad, and computer away.

This is a moment between you and food.

Feeding yourself is incredibly important and deserves attention and intention.

Create a space with as few distractions as possible.

3. Drop food fear – thoughts like “this is going to make me so bloated.”

Trust your food, and trust your body.

When you approach food in a relaxed, easy, pleasurable state, digestion is much more efficient.

Why?

Because your nervous system is in the parasympathetic, rest and digest state, rather than the sympathetic, stressed state.

Pretend you’re sitting at a cafe in Paris, just having the most pleasurable experience.

4. Chew your food well, so you can really taste all the flavors and textures.

This also helps with digestion, but here, let’s primarily view chewing as a sensual experience.

Aim to chew each bite 20-30 times, until your food is almost liquid.

You don’t have to count your chews forever.

After you practice this for a while it will become automatic, and you won’t have to think about it as much.

5. Pause between bites, put your utensil down, and check in with your body.

Give yourself space to experience your food.

Observe the sensations happening in your mouth and throughout your body.

What do you notice?

How are you feeling?

Are you satisfied, or would you like some more?

These are great questions to ask as you’re practicing this approach to food.

6. Breathe deeply throughout the whole experience.

Sending oxygen to your body through the breath is crucial for digestion.

Take intentional breaths while you eat, and allow your body to be soft.

No tension, sucking in, or holding.

At the same time, mentally send yourself love and approval.

Allow yourself to be in bliss, and to be on your own team.

Acknowledge any negative self-talk, breathe into safety, then let it go.

If your brain goes running off into judgment and self-loathing as you practice this food ritual, gently pull her back and let her know she’s safe.

 

 

Food is just food, and it has no power except the power you assign it.

Food is pleasure, fuel, and love, and you get to choose how you relate to it.

I know not every meal can be completely blissful and distraction-free, with birds chirping and a soft breeze kissing your shoulders.

I’m not here to BS you.

But if you practice this style of eating as often as possible, it will start to come more naturally to you.

For example, even if your environment is chaotic with kids running around, you may find yourself chewing slower and returning to your breath.

When you sink into non-judgment, self-love, and freedom in your body and with food, it becomes easier to eat in peace, chew, pause, breathe… and most importantly, to really enjoy yourself.

You become very used to eating this way and viewing food this way, no matter what else is going on.

These practices become your default.

Emotions and distractions feel softer, and you just feel at peace.

If we mark any food as dangerous, we’ll always be in a good / bad / restrict / overeat cycle.

When all foods are safe and available, the body and mind can calibrate to self-love and optimal health.

Living in a state of intense restriction sucks – I was there for years.

This isn’t just about healing your relationship with food and your body.

It’s about aligning with your ideal self and dropping the heavy weight of judgment and restriction, so you can live a lighter, more joyful life.

How do you navigate food cravings?

Share below – I’d love to hear from you.

XO,
Lula