I was standing in the aisle waiting to take my seat on a flight to Costa Rica around 2015, a few years before I moved there.
I have this crystal clear memory of realizing I was holding tension in my face, furrowing my brow, and my mind was running wild with anxiety.
There was no particular reason I was feeling this way.
Getting through the airport had been easy, and I was on my way to spend a week relaxing by the Caribbean sea.
So why did I feel this way?
I realized at that moment that I had learned tension and anxiety as a frequent default.
Not a constant – but a frequent state.
In that moment I relaxed my face and released the thoughts filling my mind, imagining them draining down into the earth beneath me.
This wasn’t my first time noticing the mind-body connection, but it was a key moment of noticing how much power I have, even in situations that can be stressful for me.
It was also a key moment of integration: Changing my physiology in a felt way, in a moment where, in the past, it would’ve been the last thing on my mind.
Since then I’ve integrated a deep sense of calm in almost every situation – from travel issues in brand new countries where I didn’t speak the language to 911 emergencies.
That doesn’t mean my heart isn’t racing, or that I don’t feel overwhelmed.
It means I can breathe through it and keep my body and face as relaxed as possible…
… and that opens up my capacity for empathy and patience, which always help things run smoothly.
A lot of people never bother to change their mindset: The way they think about things, regardless of the thing and regardless of the circumstances.
It can feel too fluffy and intangible to work with your thoughts and beliefs.
We just want the external result right away.
We want to know the steps to take.
The actionable blueprint.
The problem is, we can’t get the external result without changing our internal infrastructure.
Your internal infrastructure is the blueprint that directs your life.
Mindset is not the only thing you have to change to create different external outcomes, but it’s probably the most important thing.
Skipping mindset work to focus on external action is like building a house with no foundation.
When you get how practical mindset work is, and how much it changes your internal and external outcomes –how you feel on a daily basis and what your life looks like – it’s one of the biggest light bulb moments of all time.
These are 3 areas where I’ve changed my mindset and gotten radically different outcomes in my life:
1. Food and body.
I grew up not being able to eat a lot of things.
I was a sensitive girl (still am, but in different ways) with a lot of food sensitivities.
I got so used to saying no to food that it became a knee-jerk response, before I even knew what was being offered.
In high school I became obsessed with thinness and went on my first diet:
A macrobiotic cleanse that involved a week of packaged whole grains, beans, and vegetables, at a very low daily calorie amount.
This triggered 10 years of restrictive, disordered eating that was rooted, of course, in my mindset.
We can’t change the way we eat or how we feel if we don’t change our mindset.
For those 10 years, I thought of food and weight as black and white.
I was either “good” or “bad,” “on” or “off” track, “thin” or “not thin.”
My restrictive mindset and approach to food – trying to resist it at all costs – would eventually lead to tunnel vision binges.
The tunnel vision binges would trigger massive guilt, and another phase of restriction, and so on, bouncing back and forth for years.
When I committed to intuitive eating, I completely rewired my mind to see all foods as neutral, and to see myself as a trustworthy, fundamentally good human who was capable of self-nourishment without harsh rules.
It was a process of unlearning, a process of coming back to neutrality, and a process of deep self-love.
It involved a lot of physical release through simply noticing and letting go of tension in my body, movement, meditation, journaling, and much more.
Today, because I changed my mindset around food and my body, this is my current reality:
>> I’ve been an intuitive eater for 10 years, eating with complete freedom and deep reverence for my body and nutritional needs.
>> My hormones and skin are healthier than ever, after years of PCOS and acne.
>> I love, care for, and respect my body in a way I feared might never be possible.
>> My capacity for physical pleasure, with food and beyond, is 100x what it used to be.
>> I’ve helped dozens of women transform their relationship with food and their body without giving up on their health goals.
2. Career.
My parents are artists and have always been self-employed.
Growing up we always had what we needed, and often more, but I still experienced a lot of fear and anxiety around money.
It wasn’t about what we had or didn’t have, it was about the mindset and energy around money in the household.
I remember this tangible fear of losing everything, and a desperate desire to somehow fix it – to make things effortless and abundant, even though I was just a kid.
Because of this, I thought I wanted a more traditional career path:
To get a 9-5 making 50k/year after graduating college.
So, that’s exactly what I did.
After working in restaurants from the age of 16, after graduating college I got a 9-5 at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition.
I absolutely loved it.
I would show up early to drink my coffee and read Vogue at my desk.
It was fabulous.
I had manifested exactly what I wanted.
I loved the structure, I loved the outfits, and I loved that I was doing something creative that came naturally to me – writing – while still being challenged.
My salary as an entry level college grad wasn’t exactly 50k, but it was close to that, and over the 3 years I worked there it grew far beyond that.
A part of me had a huge desire to work for myself, but in my early 20s it felt way too scary to dedicate myself to that, and I wasn’t in a place where I could do the unpaid work necessary to start a business.
Around the 2-year mark at my 9-5, my role had evolved to be almost entirely dedicated to writing curriculum and marketing copy.
8+ hours a day, 5 days a week, writing at a desk.
Working at IIN, I was constantly exposed to the world of entrepreneurship, and was even developing business curriculum for wellness entrepreneurs, since IIN includes business training.
It became clear to me that I deeply wanted to work for myself and create location independence.
After 3 years at IIN, I resigned and went back to working in restaurants while I built up my business, working with coaching and copywriting clients on the side.
It was grueling.
I would often work from 3pm – 4am, get home at 5 or 6am, then wake up to work with clients during the day before going back to the restaurant at 3pm.
3 years in, I was burnt out.
My adrenals were shot.
I was absolutely exhausted.
During my last month in Brooklyn, I had hives all over my body.
I finally worked up the courage to quit my restaurant job, go full-time in my business, and move to Costa Rica.
For the past 6 years I’ve been living in Costa Rica and traveling Latin America and Europe, sustaining an amazing lifestyle by sharing my skills – coaching and copywriting – online.
I could not have done this without changing my mindset:
>> Noticing my negative thoughts and replacing them with true, positive alternatives.
>> Journaling out the BS and rewriting my story.
>> Meditating almost daily.
>> Moving my energy on a regular basis.
>> Surrounding myself with supportive people.
All these practices add up to an entirely new way of thinking, feeling, and being in the world – and it shows up in your work, finances, and relationships, especially the relationship you have with yourself.
When we’re willing to let go of what’s old – even though it feels safe – we see that there’s so much untapped space for deep self-love, love of others, empathy, and connection.
3. Money.
When I arrived in Ecuador to spend a few months exploring, I went to the corner store to get a big jug of water.
My Spanish is pretty solid, but for some reason I wasn’t understanding why I couldn’t buy water, or what I needed to do to buy it.
There was some type of deposit system that I wasn’t grasping.
There were two men on either side of me at the counter, one from Ecuador and one from Mexico.
They were both really friendly and spoke English.
The man from Ecuador wound up taking care of the whole water situation for me, paying for it, carrying the jug to his car, and driving me and my water home.
A few years ago, I wouldn’t have allowed this to happen.
I wouldn’t have felt comfortable receiving this gift from a stranger.
I would have deflected, and I might have gotten defensive.
I would have thought it was dangerous (it’s one of those situations where you just have to trust me that it was 100% safe, even though it doesn’t sound that way lol).
I understand that this stuff happens all the time, but because I used to be quite defensive and fiercely self-sufficient, this type of thing didn’t happen to me that often – not without an agenda, at least.
This is just one example of how I’ve opened up to receiving generosity, including money, since changing my mindset.
Since dropping unnecessary defenses.
Since remembering that we’re all here to help each other.
I’ve received thousands of dollars in random gifts and unexpected money this year, and I believe it’s a direct result of releasing tension, shifting my mindset, and returning to my femininity, after growing up in a deeply masculine culture.
Fully relaxing back into my femininity is one category where I’m just getting started, so I’m very excited to see what unfolds.
There’s a reason I put career and money in different categories:
Money can come through many different avenues, both expected and unexpected. It doesn’t have to be a product of your work.
Money is necessary in our current world – not just a nice-to-have.
Abundance is our natural state, and money is always circulating in massive amounts.
By shifting your mindset, you can call in more money from all different avenues.
I want to acknowledge how hard it can feel to try to change your mindset.
To try to change your actual thoughts, until your default is different.
It can feel silly.
It can feel like a waste of time.
It can feel impossible.
Perhaps the most challenging piece?
A lot of people think they’ve already done all the mindset work they could possibly need… but they’re still not getting all the results they want in their lives.
Mindset blocks can be a massive blind spot, because the primal brain wants to keep us running the same programs that feel familiar and safe – even if they’re not serving us.
Noticing and interrupting these patterns – relentlessly yet gently and lovingly – is one of the bravest and most fruitful things you can do.
If you’re struggling with negative thoughts and anxiety, and they feel insurmountable, I hope the stories I’ve shared today give you hope.
It takes time and repetition, but changing your mindset is 100% worth it.
Personally, it’s the best thing I’ve ever done, and the biggest gift I’ve ever given myself.
Have you noticed a connection between your mindset and what happens in your life?
Have you ever made a big mindset shift that clearly led to an outcome you’d been wanting?
I’d love to hear from you in the comments below.
Much love,
Lula
P.S. Looking to make similar shifts and create similar results in your life?
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