A previous client wrote in recently with a great question, and I want to share my response with you.
I’d love to hear your experience with this in the comments below!
Question:
“When you realized – and I am imagining you realized this at some point, because it feels like a universal truth – that you feel better when you eat to 80% fullness, what did you do to always stop then?
What tools did you use to remain present?
Even knowing this and having tools, how can one be conscious enough 100% of the time to remember this simple principle?
In this particular case, I am speaking of real foods – breakfast, lunch, dinner – not dessert because I don’t think we typically eat those out of a hunger cue, but instead a pleasure cue.
Even in that case, I am sure that can elude many!
Like, how to eat half the ice cream cone instead of the whole thing, when the body really doesn’t want the whole thing?
But in this question, I am more referring to stopping at 80% during a real meal, where one is experiencing varying degrees of hunger.”
Answer:
Hey m’dear!
I don’t stop eating when I’m 80% full.
I allow myself to fully nourish to 100% – but this feels like a comfortable fullness; I never feel uncomfortably full after a meal, because I never overeat.
The whole concept of stopping at 80% became totally irrelevant when I was fully in my body and fully present with my food, versus being in my head, analyzing what I should or shouldn’t eat, and how much I should eat.
These two pieces were key to getting to this place, after being a compulsive overeater for more than a decade:
A: No longer restricting at all.
First it was overt restriction, then it became really sneaky and subtle as I progressed on my healing journey, so I had to continue to bring awareness to that.
I had to really commit to zero food restrictions.
The more I truly allowed myself freedom + deep, integrated self-love, the less I overate or even thought about overeating.
It became effortless to stop when I was full – not uncomfortably full, but just happily full.
B: Truly being in my body.
Doing enough movement, dance, breathwork, and meditation each day / week was key to breaking the pattern of overeating and eating foods my body didn’t actually want.
Other practices that were crucial:
Paying attention to my food.
Enjoying it.
Chewing, pausing, breathing.
Slowing way down – being the last one to finish, not from a tight place of “I have to eat slow,” but from a luxurious place of “I get to move at my own pace and really enjoy my food fully.”
I never try to remain slightly hungry after a meal. That sounds terrible to me lol.
I definitely used to do that – try to leave myself a little hungry – and it was such a source of suffering and tightness / restriction throughout my body and mind.
It would always ultimately lead to overeating, binging, and/or purging later in the day or at night.
I just stop when I’m full / satisfied, and very rarely feel any discomfort after a meal.
The only time I might feel discomfort is if something was literally bad, like food poisoning, or if some combination of foods really caught me off guard and did not work for my stomach. It’s very rare.
Even after Thanksgiving dinner I am up dancing and bouncing around on the trampoline with my niece. I genuinely have no interest in overeating or feeling uncomfortable in my body.
Even my favorite foods are no longer enjoyable once I’m full.
I don’t have to think about when I’m going to stop or when I “should” stop, I’m just enjoying the experience of food and my body equally, like a sweet dance / convo with my body.
It feels very unnatural to me to continue eating once my body is clearly done.
Also, making myself and my body right, now, like really really right, even when I did something “wrong” is key – making my humanness truly right.
Releasing the pressure, including the pressure to be perfectly self-loving all the time.
Making sure I’m taking breaks throughout the day to release any pressure and judgment was tremendously helpful, too.
I used to do the “perfect” AM routine then go full force into work and almost not come up for air, thinking I had set the tone for the day and that was enough, but I needed some breaks:
Shifting to pacing myself, eating enough throughout the day vs just breakfast and dinner, doing a mini breathwork session in the afternoon, and consciously relaxing my body throughout the day have had a huge effect on my emotional state and food behavior.
It really comes down to both liking and loving yourself.
Treating yourself like gold, and not making your current behavior wrong.
Giving yourself the benefit of the doubt, and knowing that your body is just trying to create safety through overeating.
When you get into this space, overeating becomes irrelevant because you’re in true reverence to yourself.
I hope this helps!
Hugs,
Lula