I looked down and noticed a few bites of oatmeal with peanut butter and jam on one plate, and a little cloud of scrambled eggs on the other.

I was done.

I started thinking about the connection between achievement and eating.

Up until my early 20s, I used to finish pretty much anything placed in front of me.

Whether it was food or drink, I felt an urgency to finish it. To arrive. To reach completion.

Years ago, I was talking to a coaching client who was also starting to coach women, and she mentioned one of her clients was struggling with coffee. She gave her the advice to simply make the cup of coffee, and then see if she actually wants it.

This reminded me, so clearly, that there are two VERY different types of people: 

  1. People who can purchase or make a cup of coffee and not finish it. 
  2. People who always finish what’s in front of them. All of it. Anything else does not compute. 

I’ve gone from being the second type of person to being the first type… and the transformation continues to blow my mind.

For the majority of my life, if something was in front of me, and especially if I bought it or made it myself, I was going to consume it. All of it. Anything else did not compute.

Sitting there with my oatmeal and little egg cloud, I realized there’s a connection between high achievement and overeating.

The drive to complete a task or reach a goal can carry over to your plate.

The same way a high achiever might become consumed by finishing something they set out to do, they can become consumed by finishing their plate of food or drink – even if they’re uncomfortably full or shaking with caffeine jitters.

This is especially true if you were taught to be in the clean plates club when you were little.

Many of us were taught it’s good to finish all our food, even if we’re not hungry.

As adults, we can remember that food is always available.

It’s not scarce for most of us, thankfully, so we don’t need to eat when we’re not hungry.

I was never forced to finish my food. Personally, my compulsive eating amplified when I was frustrated in some area of my life.

When I wasn’t feeling a sense of achievement or completion, at least I could finish my food.

I’ve always been a high-achiever, and I’ve always loved the feeling of completion. At times I’ve had a compulsive desire to improve myself, to arrive.

In middle school I’d come home and speed through my homework, hyper-focused.

I’d proudly tell my parents I didn’t even stop to pee until I was done. This fast pace continued, and at times, it repelled people and opportunities. It was a very masculine energy.

It made me quite successful at almost everything I’ve done – SATs, college, serving, bartending, working 9-5 as a writer, and starting multiple businesses.

Today I practice operating from an integrated femininine-masculine energy.

I lean back, I flow, and I allow my desires to naturally come to me, rather than chasing them.

At the same time, I have a near daily kundalini and meditation practice, and I enjoy tracking it through Momentum, a habits app.

Sometimes I notice a compulsion to want to keep my streak going – to check off the day even if I don’t feel like practicing.

While I truly enjoy practicing almost every day, I’m conscious to allow myself to break from it for a day or two if I’m feeling called.

Allowing myself to switch up my routines without guilt has been key… and I’m more successful than I’ve ever been.

Operating from a place of compulsive achievement can get you really far – but it doesn’t scratch the surface of what you can achieve through integrated feminine-masculine energy.

Breaking my compulsion with food has allowed me to be more present in my life, and I’ve experienced growth in every area as a result.

I went from living in New York, often working 12 hour shifts at multiple jobs, and burning out, to living on the beach in Costa Rica, working 15-20 hours a week, and earning more.

My lifestyle today is completely different, and it’s largely a result of healing my relationship with food and my body, letting go of compulsive achievement and eating, and balancing my masculine-feminine energy.

Do you notice a connection between the way you eat and the way you approach your daily tasks and big goals?

If you tend toward compulsive eating, are you high-achieving?

I’m so curious to hear from you.

Comment below!

With love,
Lula