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How A Chair Changed My Life

I used to feel like I couldn’t speak or move in certain situations.

It started in high school chemistry class, sitting there sweating, afraid to raise my hand or even reach into my backpack for a pen.

My body felt frozen.

I felt like a robot in most conversations, glued to the other person as they spoke, listening and processing, but frozen in my own body and unable to think.

It’s hard for me to explain this. Do you get what I’m saying? Leave a comment below if you do.

I later learned this is an anxiety-based reaction that happens when you’re afraid to voice your needs and be fully seen and heard. It’s more likely to happen in professional settings and any situation that’s new to you.

When I started working in an office a couple years ago, my anxiety became especially apparent, but super internal. It wasn’t obvious on the outside, and I tried to ignore it.

I loved my work, was good at it, and interacted normally with co-workers, but I literally felt stuck inside. I would glue myself to the computer all day, almost in a trance, afraid to move or really do anything except work as fast as possible.

I was afraid to voice my needs and move my body – things every human needs to feel alive and connected. I wouldn’t go out for coffee or take stretch breaks because I was afraid I’d be judged and people would think I was a slacker.

Then when I started to have this weird back pain, I was scared to ask for a different chair that would better support my body. I didn’t want to come off as needy or “too much.”

Everything changed after working with an incredible life coach and spiritual psychologist, Cora Poage. Cora and I met while shooting a class for the Institute for Integrative Nutrition, and I immediately knew I needed to work with her.

By working through and releasing my old beliefs that I didn’t deserve what I needed, physically and mentally, I was able to ask for the chair I needed, and my entire life changed. I know it sounds small and silly, but trust me here.

The first day I sat in it, my whole body woke up. My lower back was supported, I felt a renewed sense of energy, and my focus and productivity skyrocketed.

Since getting that new chair about a year and a half ago, my income has doubled and I feel more focused, present, and happy than ever.

If you work a full-time office job, you spend most of your LIFE there. How crazy is that? It’s definitely necessary to ask for what you need, and make your office space visually beautiful, clean, and physically supportive.

The simple act of asking for a different chair is a reflection of the BIG necessity to ask for what you need in life – whether at work, in your relationships, or just in small daily interactions, like at restaurants. Yes, it’s ok to ask for no cheese AND the sauce on the side. You’re not being a pain – get what you need to feel awesome.

Now it’s your turn. What’s one physical, mental or emotional need you have that you’ve been hesitant to ask for? How will asking for it change your life, and when will you ask for it?

Put it in your calendar now and leave a comment below so I can hold you accountable and cheer you on.

Have a friend who needs to speak up for their needs? Share this email with them using the social media tools below.

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  1. I need a proper wedge for my car seat. I have a blanket and when not folded properly so that my hips are higher I get terrible leg pain.
    I would also like to always have a complimentary upgrade to first class when flying so that my body is not like a board when I arrive at my destination. LOL
    It is so real how sitting properly changes everything for me.
    Awesome article!
    Debra

  2. Lula, so many things you write about, especially this post, sound like me! I had to LOL just reading this, I need to ask for a new chair, for when I’m in the office, but I don’t want to bother anyone (I even work for an office products company!) Glad for you that you didn’t need to be as old as me to realize that things need to change!

    1. So good to hear my posts are resonating with you Janelle!

      I totally know how you feel.

      I was completely in that place until I decided to make some changes and got outside support. I didn’t do it all by myself!

      Definitely ask for a new chair. 🙂

      Sending you so much love! Thank you for reading. XO