I didn’t want to be the one.
I’d answer correctly in class, and fear that someone would call me a teacher’s pet again.
A woman would compliment my body and I’d feel guilty, like maybe I had something she could never have.
I’d get a job offer or a promotion, and feel scared it would be taken away from me.
That the pressure was on now.
That I couldn’t possibly be the one.
I’d start earning more money – and realize, wide-eyed at 2am one night, that there was no ceiling in my field of work.
Then I’d feel guilty about “surpassing” a loved one.
Scared they would assume I thought I was better than them.
I’d post photos of myself riding a horse through the Caribbean sea, and feel a little bit of shame, like people must think I’m rich, and that’s a bad thing.
I couldn’t possibly be the one.
The one with all this.
The one who had built complete freedom. The one who was working 15-20 hours a week, earning more than her previous full-time salary.
Someone would look at me, like I was the one. But I couldn’t possibly be the one.
I’d receive a compliment, a stare, a celebration. And I would soak it up, yes.
But a little voice would creep up, sometimes right away or sometimes hours later, saying…
You’re not the one.
You don’t get to have all this.
You don’t get to be all this.
It could all be taken away.
There is more than enough time, freedom, love, attention, and abundance for all of us.
I didn’t want to be the one, but She always did. And She always was, the one.
The core of my being. My true self.
Today, I know that I am the one. Just like you are the one. She is the one. He is the one. They are the one.
You are the one.
You get to have all this.
You get to be all this.
If it’s all taken away, space is being cleared for something better.
Choosing yourself as the one means living in intuition. Trusting yourself. Knowing you deserve all your blessings and more.
When you choose yourself, again and again, when you become the one, all is enough and all is coming.
You can rest. You can be. You are the one.
Much love,
Lula