I was on the phone with a friend a couple months ago and he was lamenting the fact that he lost a big work contract, leaving a “hole” in his income and schedule.
My immediate thought was – oh, an opening for something new, maybe more fun, perhaps higher paying.
A hole is the same as an opening.
An opening for a whole new opportunity.
I’ve always been a pretty positive person, but in my early 20s I began to really train myself to have a pragmatic positivity bias.
To genuinely and automatically see the positive side of situations, without having to…
- Talk myself into it.
- Practice toxic positivity.
- Lie to myself.
- Fake it or feel cheesy.
The truth is that “losing” something, like a project or job, objectively creates space for something else…
… but it’s hard to see that if you’re wallowing in the loss of what was never meant to be.
You wind up using your energy to feel bad rather than channeling it toward new possibilities.
Without a pragmatic positivity basis, in moments of “loss” you build up tension and resentment that could repel new opportunities.
We’ve all heard…
“What can go wrong, will.”
“If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.”
“Just wait for the other shoe to drop.”
… dozens of times, from a young, highly impressionable age.
So there’s no shame if you’ve realized that you tend to see the negative in situations – most of us learned to, as a protection mechanism.
The good news?
Science shows we can rewire our thought patterns and develop new neural pathways at any age.1
With food, after eating something viewed as “bad” lots of people feel guilty and try to “make up for it.”
They see it as a negative choice rather than viewing it through the lens of pragmatic positivity.
When we label food as good or bad we keep ourselves on a constant rollercoaster of reward and punishment.
Let’s take french fries as an example.
A lot of people would view them as a “bad” food that they need to “burn off” or “offset” with a calorie deficit.
What if you saw them as a fun moment of pleasure that nourished your soul, and included some food-based nutrients too?
What if you saw them as no big deal in the context of a week, vs one day?
Immediately, your nervous system would relax and you would digest those fries better, because you wouldn’t be stressing out over them.
Better digestion = less bloating, higher energy, higher metabolism, better mood, and better focus.
Mental stress over food can be way more detrimental than any food itself.
When the stress response is engaged, it’s much more difficult to digest and absorb nutrients.
If you have a pragmatic positivity bias toward food, your health and mindset are likely to improve.
How do you develop a pragmatic positivity bias toward all foods?
- Practice seeing all foods as neutral. Food is not a moral issue.
- Notice how different foods make you feel without labeling them good or bad.
- Remember that food is supposed to be pleasurable – it’s not just calories in, calories out.
- Get back to your roots. Food is culture and connection – it’s not just fuel.
- Prioritize relaxing your nervous system. Chronic stress is more toxic than any one food.
- Chew, chew, chew your food, so you can actually appreciate how it tastes, and notice how it feels in your body.
- Slow way down at meals, so you have more time to enjoy your food and register when you’re full or still hungry.
When you release all the tension of “good” and “bad,” you clear the static surrounding your intuition, and you can hear what your body is asking for at the next meal or snack.
After something like a burger and fries, a balanced body usually craves vegetables, fish, fruits, and water – nourishment and hydration.
By seeing the positive where most people see the negative, you can hear your food intuition more clearly, and attract more of what you want into your life.
Rather than dwelling in the tension of striving-achievement-gain-loss, you can choose to see everything as neutral information, and to remember that everything is adding up in the direction you’re meant to be heading.
Letting go of good-bad tension also clears confusion in the body and resets food cravings.
This keeps your energy light and magnetic, which allows for the natural order of things to flow.
When you notice that you’re seeing something through a negativity bias, simply observe the thoughts, thank them for trying to protect you, forgive yourself if you feel guilty, and swap in your pragmatic positivity lens.
Practice a new thought, in your head or in writing.
In the best case scenario, how could this “mess up,” “bad choice,” or “loss” be serving you?
How could it be setting you up for something even better?
Practice rerouting toward pragmatic positivity over and over, and it will become a habit.
That’s how I developed a pragmatic positivity bias.
Meditation, such as Vedic meditation, also helps a lot when you’re looking to develop a pragmatic positivity bias.
It supports the development of new neural pathways – thought patterns – and allows you to respond from a grounded place in difficult moments, rather than reacting.
Do you notice that your brain naturally goes toward the negative, in life and with food, or have you already developed a pragmatic positivity bias?
I’d love to hear your experience in the comments below.
XO,
Lula
Photo: Rodolfo De Jesus David
References
When this happened to me a year ago, I stayed open to the new possibilities, yet I spiraled. I hit a grey area where it seemed everything I learned, didn’t stick. Everything and everyone was new. I was starting over again and I didn’t expect it. Often times I didn’t know how I was going to rise above it. As a result of a huge shift in finances I lost my coach too, I felt alone. So I started to emotionally eat trying to reconnect. When my body responded in ways that felt bad, I knew I needed something more. So I turned to meditation, journaling, reading, and reconnecting with myself and my body realizing I didn’t have to go it alone. That I was divinely supported and things got better! I still missed my coach though! Everything she taught me I realized was preparing me for this big new change in my life! I now know she too was divinely supporting me from a distance and In spirit she never left me.
Oh my gosh this is so beautiful! Thank you for sharing. I love your journey, so full circle. And it’s true, she never EVER left you. And she never will. Sending you so much love! <3