Last fall I got some fresh apple cider donuts from a local farm in upstate NY and ate one.
It was amazing.
I felt the sugar rush, and for a moment I wanted another one right away, but my body said no.
My body said stop.
So I decided to wait, and the desire passed.
Another donut would not have felt good in my body.
It would have made me feel tired, sluggish, and numb.
On a different day, two doughnuts might have felt great.
That day, one was enough.
This is not restriction, this is self-love and self-reverence.
One of the biggest reasons clients come to me is because they’re bouncing back and forth between eating in alignment and overeating to the point of feeling sick.
Some have been struggling with this for a few years, others, a few decades.
Breaking the restrict-overeat cycle is one of the biggest challenges I’ve overcome, personally.
From my teens to early 20s I severely restricted my food, sometimes to less than 1,200 calories a day, then finally broke down and binged.
This turned into a vicious, repetitive cycle of extreme “clean” eating then overeating, binging, purging, overexercising, undereating, rinse, repeat.
Today I eat what my body is asking for and never overeat.
It’s been over 10 years since I experienced overeating or binge eating.
There’s just no appeal to overeating anymore, whether it’s kale or pizza.
It doesn’t feel good.
I don’t get any joy out of it.
I’ve done it enough times, for enough years – from the time I was a kid (it started earlier than my disorder, with more casual overeating) until my early 20s – to know it’s never the move for my body.
Today I know that no food is bad or wrong, dirty or clean – it’s all just information that’s interacting with my unique body, and my body is always giving me vital feedback.
As you might be navigating overeating yourself, I want to make something very clear:
It’s not that I never have the fleeting desire to keep eating beyond satisfaction and comfort, it’s that I respect my body enough to stop…
… and I know that the feeling of being overstuffed is not something I enjoy.
Plus, I know that I can always eat anything I want later.
By giving myself full permission to eat, while deeply devoting myself to listening to my body’s responses to different foods, I overcame overeating.
Today I have deep reverence for my body, and I know that overeating never serves me in any way.
I respect my body’s boundaries.
Just like you have boundaries in any relationship, your body has boundaries.
With your loved ones, it’s not that you never want to cross a boundary to get your momentary needs met, it’s that you love and respect the other person enough to honor their boundaries.
Their no.
Their stop.
You may have the desire to cheat on your partner when you see someone really attractive, but if you’re monogamous and you respect your partner’s boundaries, you’re not going to go through with it.
Wanting it for a fleeting moment isn’t wrong, acting on it is.
When you respect your body’s unique, fluctuating boundaries and needs, your relationship with yourself becomes your greatest source of support, stability, and love.
Today, do you respect your body’s boundaries around food?
There is no right or wrong answer, and there is no superiority or shame in either answer.
We are on this path together, moving toward the same goal of ever-deepening self-love and genuine health.
I’d love to hear from you in the comments below.
Much love,
Lula