I used to reject myself when I was thin AND when I was bigger.
The majority of my teenage and early 20s struggle was feeling too big, but I had a phase of feeling too thin.
I’d look in the mirror at my waitressing job and feel like I looked like a boy.
I wanted curves.
I wanted to feel more feminine.
But my body was pretty straight up and down.
It seemed too muscular and hard to me, at the time.
Here’s the thing:
It’s not actually about being thin or curvy or average or however else you see yourself.
If you reject yourself now, in your current state, you will not suddenly start accepting and loving yourself when you become thinner or curvier or whatever your goal is.
If you reject yourself today, there’s something deeper going on.
When we reject ourselves, we’ll always find a way to throw shade at our bodies, until we develop unconditional, unshakable self-love.
When you reject and shame your body, you bathe your cells in a lower vibration that keeps you small and stuck… and keeps extra heaviness on, or makes it impossible to gain healthy weight.
If you’re not fully loving and embracing your body today, you’re robbing yourself of the ecstasy you could be experiencing.
You’re not wasting time or “not living,” (I used to feel this way) because you are learning something…
… you’re learning how you DON’T want to feel, and how you don’t want to treat your body.
We need to feel that polarity sometimes.
Where you’re at today is divine.
But it’s important to practice and move into complete acceptance and self-love in your current state.
Self-acceptance and love cannot be contingent on your shape or size.
How can you accept and love yourself when you’re really not feeling good in your body?
Even if your self-love and acceptance feels a little fake at first, that’s ok, you’re still flexing those muscles.
It’s like the studies on how faking a smile in the mirror can put you in a better mood.
Going through the motions of loving and accepting yourself will speed up your path to fully embodying that love.
As you send yourself more self-love and acceptance, you’ll experience how good that feels.
You’ll start to trust and respect yourself more.
You’ll build momentum, be less likely to overeat or restrict to punish yourself, and be more likely to make choices in reverence to your body.
Here’s a quick practice you can do today to love your body now, build momentum, and calibrate to your best natural weight, effortlessly…
When you see or feel a body part you label as unacceptable, bad, or ugly, send that specific area of your body unconditional love and acceptance.
For example, if you notice your stomach sticking out and you feel shame and go to suck it in, let your belly relax, and send love and acceptance.
I started doing this at home first, and slowly, it got easier to do it in public and around other people.
Actively relax your body.
Mentally and energetically send yourself love and appreciation.
If you’re in a place you feel comfortable doing this, place your hands on that area and relax into them.
Tell your body s(he)’s good now… not just when s(he)’s lighter or curvier or different in some other way.
S(he)’s so good now.
And s(he) is lovable and beautiful in any form.
S(he) can breathe.
Self-love is not just about celebrating the parts of your body you like today.
It’s about celebrating the parts of your body you feel the most shame around.
That’s where the magic happens.
You begin to truly love yourself, you calibrate to your best natural weight, and your personal magnetism crackles.
After you go through this process of sending your rejected body part(s) complete love and acceptance, ask yourself what would feel even better than what you’re doing right now – from a place of abundance and self-love, rather than restriction or control.
What would feel so good to eat?
What would it look like to speak to yourself with the utmost love and respect?
Which people make it easier to speak to yourself and treat yourself with complete love?
What movement would feel so good?
What type of sensual experience?
What type of intellectual nourishment would feel so good?
What type of entertainment?
You are so worthy of everything you desire, everything you can imagine for yourself – and you can absolutely have it all.
I know it can feel hard to do this practice, at times.
Self-love is a muscle to strengthen.
You can’t just exercise it once or twice – it’s a daily practice.
Why is it so important?
It’s the most effective way to break judgment cycles and the restrict-overeat cycle, calibrate to your ideal body, and have it stick… rather than constantly struggling and worrying about your body changing.
My work is not a quick-fix.
It’s not about fitting into a dress for an event, or feeling good for a month after doing a 2-week detox.
It’s about reprogramming your body and mind to feel good now, and relaxing into your ideal body type forever.
It starts with complete self-acceptance and love for your current shape and size.
You have to believe you’re good enough first, today, with no alterations.
You deserve to live fully now.
You deserve to experience your full-watt light, energy, and joy now.
I hope this practice serves you.
Much love,
Lula
Photo: Paula Simons Photography