I used to reject myself when I was thin AND when I was bigger. The majority of my teenage and early 20s struggle was feeling too big, but I had a phase of feeling too thin.
I’d look in the mirror at my waitressing job and feel that I looked like a boy: Had no curves, no femininity, was straight up and down. Too muscular and hard.
It’s not fat or thin. If you reject yourself now, you will not suddenly start accepting and loving yourself when you become thinner or more feminine or whatever your goal is.
If you reject yourself today, there’s something deeper going on here.
When we reject ourselves, we’ll always find a way to throw shade at our bodies, until we develop unconditional, unshakable self-love.
And when you reject and shame your body, you bath your cells in a lower vibration that keeps you small and stuck… and keeps extra heaviness on.
If you’re not fully loving and embracing your body in each moment, you’re robbing yourself of the ecstasy you could be experiencing.
You’re not wasting time or “not living,” because you are learning something…
… you’re learning how you DON’T want to feel, and how you don’t want to treat your body.
We need to feel that polarity sometimes.
So where you’re at today is more than ok, 100%.
But it’s important to move into and practice complete acceptance and self-love now.
Self-acceptance and love cannot be contingent on your current shape or size.
But how can you accept and love yourself when you’re really not feeling good in your body?
Even if your self-love and acceptance feels a little fake at first, that’s ok, you’re still flexing those muscles.
It’s like the studies on how faking a smile in the mirror can still put you in a better mood.
Going through the motions of loving and accepting yourself will speed your path to full embodiment.
As you send yourself more self-love and acceptance, you’ll experience how good that feels.
You’ll start to trust and respect yourself more. And you will not binge or restrict to punish yourself. You will make choices in reverence to your body.
Here’s a quick practice you can do to love your body, calibrate to your natural weight, and increase your personal magnetism…
When you see or feel a body part you label as unacceptable, bad, or ugly, send that specific area of your body unconditional love and acceptance.
For example, if you notice your stomach sticking out and you feel shame and go to suck it in, let your belly relax, and send love and acceptance.
Actively relax your body. Mentally and energetically send her love and appreciation.
She is good now… not just when she’s 20 pound lighter. She’s so good now. And she is good in any form.
She can breathe.
Self-love is not just about celebrating the parts of your body you feel match up to some external standard.
It’s about celebrating the aspects of your body you feel the most shame around.
That’s where the magic happens.
You begin to truly love yourself, you calibrate to your natural weight, and your personal magnetism crackles.
After you go through this process of sending your rejected body part(s) complete love and acceptance, ask yourself, what would feel even better?
What would feel so good to eat, to say to yourself?
What movement would feel so good? What laughter?
What sensual or sexual connection?
What time in nature? What type of intellectual nourishment?
And go get it.
Because you are so worthy of everything you can imagine, and you can absolutely have it all.
I know it can feel hard. Self-love is a muscle to strengthen.
You can’t just exercise it once or twice. It’s a daily practice.
Why is it so important?
It’s the only way to feel peace now, calibrate to your ideal body type, and have it stick… rather than constantly struggling and worrying about your body changing.
My work is not a quick-fix.
It’s not about fitting into a dress for an event, or feeling good for a month after doing a 2-week detox.
It’s about reprogramming your body and mind to feel good now, and relaxing into your ideal body type forever.
And it starts with complete self-acceptance and love for your current shape and size.
You have to believe you’re good enough first, today, with no alterations.
You deserve to live fully now.
We need your full wattage light, energy, joy and connection.
So thank you for doing this practice and sharing your light and love with all of us.
Love,
Lula
Photo: Paula Simons Photography