Even after taking the massive risk of moving to Costa Rica from New York, leaving behind every external structure I knew as safe, there was still a lot I thought I might never be able to do.

One of my big visions was regular horseback riding lessons.

And it just felt… lofty. EXTRA. A LOT, in every way.

Like who does this b*tch think she is, taking riding lessons every week?

Now, I’ve been taking weekly lessons since April.

I did something I never thought I’d be able to do.

The same way I overcame overeating, undereating, and bulimic tendencies, when I thought it might never be possible.

The same way I can now do crazy pole dance tricks, when I thought I might never be able to go upside down.

The first time I watched the teacher do it, I lovingly accepted that that just couldn’t and wouldn’t be me.

“You don’t have upper body strength. You were a soccer player and runner.”

… I told myself.

But now I can do it. And more.

You can do crazy sh*t.

There are 3 primary components that had to shift for me to do these things.

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Here’s my process to create what I want…

1. I had to notice the sh*t I was telling myself.

The story I was creating around being a person who rides horses every week.

Being a person who eats everything and feels great in her body.

Being a person who flies around a pole and flips upside down.

I had to notice the exact words coming in…

“Who the hell is she, (literally) riding up on her high horse? She must be rich and mean.”

“It’s impossible to feel really good in your body without going on a strict diet.”

“I just don’t have upper body strength. I was a soccer player and runner.”

I had to notice these words, and sometimes write them down to realize how palpable and detrimental they were. That’s the first step.

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2. I had to start telling myself different sh*t.

As long as we’re telling ourselves limiting stories, we’ll continue to act them out, and even to repel the opportunities that are right in front of us… because the old reality feels safer.

I had to replace my limiting stories with different words. To literally stop the car, back it up, and change directions when a negative storyline came in.

At first it felt awkward, but I knew it was really important. Our thoughts inform our cells, our words, our actions, and our outcomes.

You cannot tear yourself down in your head and expect to have a dope life. So I stumbled through telling myself a different story, like a baby deer.

When I noticed a BS story, I would replace it with something like…

“Riding horses is a deep desire of yours. Your desires are valid. No action or activity means anything except what you make it mean. You can create the money and time to invest in weekly lessons. It’s so healing and worth it.”

“We are humans. We need food. We need pleasure. We were designed to enjoy food and feel good in our bodies. When I listen to my intuition, I can eat the foods I love, stop when I’m full, and feel amazing in my body. This is my nature, this is the only way.”

“The human body is endlessly resilient and strong. My potential is limitless. I’m designed to do challenging things, if I choose to. I love pole dancing and I have a desire to build upper body strength. I can definitely do that.”

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3. I had to get into the energy of what I wanted.

I started to play with getting really excited, imagining myself riding horses, feeling great in my body, and flying and flipping around a pole, to keep going with these 3 examples.

I did things that simply brought me joy, made me feel giddy, and sparked a similar feeling I imagined I would have once I made these 3 visions a reality.

Even the simple act of biking with music I love to get coffee or lunch could produce these feelings.

Noticing the basic pleasure of what was around me. How good water tastes when it’s hot outside, how amazing it feels to swim underwater.

Getting really excited about those things and then thinking about my desires and getting excited about them helped me create a positive association with my goals.

As that new information settled into my system, I naturally built momentum in my life and effortlessly took the steps to make these things happen. I became magnetic.

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It’s really important to not beat yourself up when you notice a limiting story popping up.

Approach it with playfulness and curiosity, like…

Hey friend, what’s up? You’re safe and welcome here, but we’re gonna upgrade you to a different story. It’s gonna be so much fun, and make everything feel so much easier.

And it’s super important to let yourself feel ALL your emotions as they come through.

Let them be in your body, rather than immediately pushing them away.

Feel them fully, and surrender to them, rather than making them wrong.

Then, when you’re ready, let them go. Let everything go.

This isn’t about deleting negative thoughts or emotions.

It’s about pulling your energy back and realizing that you get to decide how your life goes.

Even when you have legit limitations present, you can decide how to relate to them and how to step forward.

You can decide how you want to feel, no matter what, and make it non-negotiable.

With all these goals, releasing attachment was key.

I decided what I wanted, I let go of my bullsh*t and recreated my storyline around them, and then I decided to enjoy my life, whether they happened or not.

In that commitment to own your energy and your thoughts, in deciding on and then detaching from the outcome, magic happens.

The same way chasing a partner repels them, becoming overly obsessed with any outcome will push it farther away from you.

Visualize what you want, see it super clearly, feel it… then let it go.

What’s something you’ve done that you thought you might never be able to do?

How did you make it happen?

Love to hear from you in the comments below.

Love,
Lula

Photo of Balsam and I: @duriwaktours