Western culture teaches us to form attachments. To grip onto things.
A specific university.
A specific life path.
A specific type of partner.
And of course, a specific body type: Thin, fit, curvy “in the right places.”
We get ideas in our head about what our lives should look like, ignoring what we actually want.
Ignoring our souls, and our intuition.
Because “they” must know better than us, right?
This starts when we’re vulnerable – it started for me when I was around 8, watching the little mermaid and telling myself I WOULD look like Ariel when I grew up.
I was mesmerized by her impossibly small waist. Literally, impossibly small – a human with the same proportions would not be able to stand up.
I became attached to having that body type, subconsciously rejecting my natural form.
Then at 10, we began preparing for college, following the formulaic process of studying for and passing the SATs, and applying to schools.
Then it was all about getting an internship and then a job.
In Western culture, it’s hard NOT to become attached to one way of looking and being, and to grip onto it for dear life.
If and when you start to break away from this system, attachment can still come up.
For example, I know a lot of freedom-based entrepreneurs who are fearful about getting clients.
They feel the need to always be responsive – on social media and email all the time – in case a potential client reaches out.
They’re afraid that if they’re not always available, they’ll lose clients.
This is attachment.
This is gripping.
This is fear.
The other side of this is erratic eating, in a lot of cases.
How are the two connected?
Attachment and gripping cause physical and emotional tension. We look to food for relief – to release the pressure, numb out, and finally “take a break.”
When we realize we actually don’t have control – when we lose the relationship or the client, for example –we use food to soothe ourselves.
It becomes the one area we have control over, by default.
Because food has no dexterity, no will.
We can grab it anytime we want. It can’t grab us. It can’t move us.
We can overeat to soothe ourselves after a loss.
We can overeat in an attempt to control our emotions.
We can also undereat to control, to rebel. To say, “Look how superhuman I am, I barely even need food.”
Food can never let us down, at least not in the fleeting moment of pleasure and control. We’re often left feeling more fearful, attached, and distraught, but at least for that moment, we felt a sense of control.
How can you let go of attachment and gripping to heal your relationship with food?
Integrate and live by the truth that we do not live in a zero sum world.
If I make a dollar, that does not mean you lose a dollar.
If I get a client, that does not mean you’ve lost a client.
The clients and work opportunities that are meant for you are ONLY meant for you.
There is no substitute for YOU.
There is no one who can express and deliver your exact gifts to your exact people.
If a client or promotion passes you by, there is something better coming.
It may not look exactly as you expected, but you will see that it is infinitely better.
If you break up with a partner, it’s in both of your best interests.
You’re not losing something, you’re actually gaining the physical and energetic space for someone who’s a better match for you.
And so is your ex-partner.
It’s not about one person being rejected.
It’s about both people exiting the partnership to create space for more aligned partners.
We do not need to grip, grab, push, force, or attach ourselves to anything.
There is an infinite supply of money, connection, and love in the world.
It can take patience, grace, and persistence.
We won’t always be instantly gratified.
But when you relax into your soul, in this moment, when you feel gratitude for all that is and all that is coming, with no rush to “get there,” because you are there… then things come to you more quickly.
The antidote to attachment and gripping, and the antidote to erratic eating, is feeling deep gratitude for your present day reality, and your present day body.
Finding a way to love your current reality, and listening deeply to your intuition on anything you want to shift, while trusting it’s happening in perfect timing.
There is no need to push or force.
Ease comes in honoring your soul above the system.
Honoring your inner voice above any diet.
Honoring your peace over external pressure.
… and taking the next step from that place.
Loving your life and having fun today, while trusting that all is coming, and that food is on your side.
Food is your friend, and it’s there to support you.
When we let go of attachment and gripping, there is no pressure to release, so we do not need to turn to food to blow off steam.
We eat for nourishment and pleasure, and it feels easy.
If the last year has taught me one thing, it’s to truly be present and enjoy each day, rather than tripping over what the future could or should be.
To integrate that practice rather than just understanding it on an intellectual level.
I invite you to come back to your soul today, and let your body rest.
Allow your body to be your home, your safe haven.
With so much love,
Lula